How to Forget My Ex If I Still Have Feelings for Them

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By Ally Silver

Moving on from an ex can be one of the most challenging emotional journeys one can undertake, especially when lingering feelings are involved. The process is rarely straightforward, and it can feel like your heart and mind are constantly at odds. If you’re struggling to forget your ex while still harboring feelings for him, know that you’re not alone. Many people go through this, and while the path to healing is unique for everyone, there are steps you can take to make the process a bit more manageable.

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Image credit: F8 studio / Shutterstock.com

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in moving on is acknowledging that you still have feelings for your ex. Denying or suppressing these emotions can lead to greater pain and confusion down the line. It’s perfectly normal to feel sadness, longing, and even love after a breakup. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment. This acceptance is crucial for healing and will prevent these feelings from lingering unresolved in your mind.

Create Distance

While it might be tempting to keep in touch with your ex, especially if you parted on good terms, maintaining distance is essential. This doesn’t mean you have to sever all ties permanently, but a period of no contact can help you gain perspective and start the healing process. Unfriend or unfollow on social media, avoid places you know he frequents, and refrain from reaching out. This physical and emotional space will give you the clarity you need to begin moving forward.

Focus on Yourself

One of the most effective ways to move on from an ex is to redirect your energy towards yourself. Reconnect with hobbies and interests that make you happy. Try new activities that you’ve always wanted to explore. Focusing on personal growth and self-care can help rebuild your sense of self-worth and independence. This period of self-discovery can be incredibly empowering and can remind you of your value outside of the relationship.

Lean on Your Support System

Friends and family can be a tremendous source of support during this time. Surround yourself with people who care about you and who can offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Sharing your feelings with trusted friends can provide comfort and perspective. They can remind you of the reasons the relationship ended and help you see the situation more objectively.

Reflect on the Relationship

Take some time to reflect on your relationship. What were the reasons for the breakup? Were there patterns or issues that kept recurring? Understanding the dynamics of your relationship can provide insight and help you learn from the experience. This reflection isn’t about dwelling on the past but about gaining clarity to prevent similar issues in future relationships.

Set New Goals

Setting new goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose. These goals don’t have to be monumental; they can be as simple as reading more books, learning a new skill, or focusing on your career. Working towards these goals can distract you from thoughts of your ex and provide a sense of accomplishment. Each small step you take towards these new goals is a step away from your past relationship.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool in managing lingering feelings for an ex. Practicing mindfulness involves staying present in the moment and accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and journaling can help you process your emotions and reduce anxiety. Mindfulness can also help you break the cycle of constantly thinking about your ex, allowing you to focus on the present and your own well-being.

Avoid Romanticizing the Past

It’s easy to romanticize past relationships, especially when you’re feeling lonely or nostalgic. However, it’s important to remember the reasons why the relationship ended. Remind yourself of the challenges and conflicts you faced. This balanced perspective can help you see the breakup as a necessary step towards finding a healthier, more fulfilling relationship in the future.

Seek Professional Help

If you find that you’re struggling to move on despite your best efforts, seeking professional help can be beneficial. A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and offer strategies for coping with the breakup. Therapy can also help you uncover any underlying issues that might be hindering your ability to move on and support your overall mental health.

Be Patient with Yourself

Healing takes time, and everyone’s journey is different. Be patient with yourself and recognize that it’s okay to have setbacks. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s perfectly normal. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and continue to remind yourself that you are moving forward.

Can You Ever Forget an Ex?

Forgetting an ex while still having feelings for him is a challenging and often painful process. By acknowledging your emotions, creating distance, focusing on yourself, leaning on your support system, reflecting on the relationship, setting new goals, practicing mindfulness, avoiding romanticizing the past, seeking professional help, and being patient with yourself, you can navigate this difficult period and eventually find peace. Remember, healing is a journey, and each step you take brings you closer to a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Ally is editor at Relationship Effects and a keen writer on the topics of love and relationships. When she's not writing about the highs and lows of being in love, you're likely to find her catching up on the latest season of Bridgerton (again), reading, or hanging with her two ragdoll cats.

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