What Makes Somebody a Best Friend? How Are They Different from Other Friends?

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By Ally Silver

A best friend is a unique fixture in our lives, standing apart from our other friends in both subtle and significant ways. At first glance, the difference might seem elusive, but it’s woven into the very fabric of our interactions and the depth of our connection.

Two best friends together at festival
Image credit: simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock.com

A Deeper Connection

Think about the last time you received really good or really bad news. Who did you reach out to first? Chances are, it was your best friend. This is someone who isn’t just present for the highlights, but someone who is deeply embedded in the mundane details of your life. They know your quirks, your fears, and your dreams in a way that no one else does. It’s not just about shared experiences but shared understanding.

A best friend often begins as an ordinary friend. You meet, find common ground, and over time, something deeper develops. It’s like planting a tree: you start with a seed, and through care and time, it grows into something sturdy and life-giving. Ordinary friends are the leaves that come and go with the seasons, but a best friend is the trunk, steadfast and reliable.

One of the defining traits of a best friend is their ability to make you feel completely comfortable and accepted. You can be utterly yourself without the fear of judgment. With other friends, there might still be a layer of pretense or a need to maintain a certain image. With a best friend, that layer melts away. They’ve seen you at your best and your worst and love you just the same.

Humor is another significant factor. Inside jokes and shared laughter bond us in ways that few other things can. A best friend knows your sense of humor inside out. They can make you laugh with a single word or a knowing look. This shared humor becomes a private language, a series of codes and references that only the two of you fully understand.

But it’s not just the good times that define a best friend. It’s the tough times, too. When life throws curveballs, a best friend is the one who stands by you, offering support and a listening ear. They’re the ones who show up unasked when you’re going through a breakup, the ones who know just what to say (or not to say) when you’re grieving. They provide a sense of stability and reassurance that can make even the hardest times bearable.

Trust is another cornerstone of this special relationship. You confide in your best friend things that you might not tell anyone else. This level of trust is built over time through countless moments of shared vulnerability and mutual support. You know that whatever you share will be met with understanding and kept in confidence.

Another aspect that sets best friends apart is their intuitive understanding of you. Sometimes, it’s as if they can read your mind. They know when something’s off before you even say a word. This deep level of empathy and connection means they often know what you need, even before you do. Whether it’s a pep talk, a distraction, or just someone to sit with you in silence, they’re attuned to your needs in a way that others simply aren’t.

The physical space a best friend occupies in your life also speaks volumes. They are often the person you spend the most time with, whether it’s hanging out in comfortable silence or going on spontaneous adventures. Their presence is a natural extension of your own life, blending seamlessly into your routine. With other friends, there might be more effort involved in making plans or maintaining the connection. With a best friend, it’s almost effortless.

Best friends also have a way of pushing you to be your best self. They challenge you, call you out when you’re wrong, and encourage you to pursue your dreams. They believe in you often more than you believe in yourself. This dynamic fosters personal growth in a way that other friendships might not. It’s a safe space to test your limits and expand your horizons, knowing that your best friend has your back no matter what.

In essence, a best friend is a mirror, reflecting who you are and who you can become. They’re a witness to your life’s journey, celebrating your victories and mourning your losses alongside you. The relationship is a unique blend of shared experiences, mutual understanding, unwavering support, and profound trust. It’s these elements that elevate a best friend from the realm of ordinary friendships, making them an indispensable part of your life.

While other friends add value and joy, a best friend truly enriches your life, making the journey a little less lonely and a whole lot more meaningful.

Ally is editor at Relationship Effects and a keen writer on the topics of love and relationships. When she's not writing about the highs and lows of being in love, you're likely to find her catching up on the latest season of Bridgerton (again), reading, or hanging with her two ragdoll cats.

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